The Daycare Saga

Okay, we're on day 3 of leaving Bubbie at daycare. Here's how's it's gone:

Day 1 - My mom wanted to come with because she'll be picking Bubbie up pretty often. We get there at around 8 and stayed for about 30 minutes. Bubbie played and was pretty good while we were there. They went outside to play in the courtyard and my mom and I decided it was a good time to go. So I said goodbye, gave him a kiss, and told him I loved him. As my mom and I left, Bubbie followed us to the double doors, which have glass centers, and watched us walk down the hall away from him. I couldn't look back. My mom said he watched for a little then went off to play. I left him there for about 1.5 hours and when I went to pick him up, he was eating snack at their tiny tables. I came up to him and said hi. He looked at me for a minute and started bawling. It was like, "Momma?! WTF?! Why did you leave me here?!?!" It was horrible.

Day 2 - Bubbie had an AWFUL night after day 1. He was really constipated and woke up at least 5 times. Boo. This led to a pretty crappy day at daycare. I dropped him off closer to 7:45 and he was cool. He got down, walked around, even smiled at one of the teachers. I was able to leave with no problem. When I came to pick him up, one of the teachers was holding him. They told me he didn't want to eat anything and was on and off crying the whole 3 hours he was there.

Day 3 - Today was the hardest day yet. We got there at 7:30 (I'm trying to go earlier and earlier for when I go back to work). He was already whining when we pulled into the parking lot. Great. So, we get into his classroom and I'm filling out a little form about when he woke up, ate, etc. and he is like a monkey on my hip. I tried to put him down to play while I filled it out, but no. Then it was time for me to go. I started to hand him over to a teacher and he started clinging. I had to force him over there as he kept lunging for me. Then he gave me the "saddest face in the world" and started crying. I gave him a kiss, told him I loved him, and basically ran out of the room. I stole a quick look back through the glass on the door and he was howling reaching at the door for me. I quickly walked to my car, sat in the driver's seat, and commenced the crying.

Do you hear that sound??? It's the sound of my heart breaking. This sucks.

Pity Party, Table for One

I brought Bubbie to daycare for the first time today just to kind of introduce him (and me) to his teachers. We stayed for 2 hours and he had fun. It was kind of funny watching him interact with the other kids, but so hard to kind of let him do his thing. I tried not to hover and just let him wander and explore.

I pretty much knew he was going to go since February, but now that the time has come, I'm so sad - heartbroken even. In fact, the day I found out I got a job, I was really excited. But that night, I sobbed in bed knowing that Bubbie would be going off to daycare. I hate that I'm not going to be with him all day, giving him kisses, snuggling with him, and watching him figure out fun things like pointing.

When we first walked in, I was struggling immediately knowing that in a week, he'd be there full time - from 6:30-4:30 every day. I had to suck back tears a bunch. The fact that the time has come is killing me. Next week, I'll be dropping him off for a few hours every day. By the end of the week, he'll be going almost all day. The following week, he'll be a daycare toddler. :(

I'm dreading the look he'll give me when I leave. I can't handle it. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it. I HATE THIS!

Halle-freaking-luyah

I got a job!! I got a job!! I got a job!! I interviewed at this really awesome charter school last week and got the call last night that I got the job. I'm so excited, but sooooooo sad that I won't be home with Bubbie every day. The hardest part is that he's going to start going to get used to the daycare starting the first week of August and going full time the second week. That leaves me with only 1 week left of being home full time. :( I'm so happy to be able to pay our mortgage and help B bring in some $$, but leaving Bubbie all day breaks my heart.